Crossdress for success
by Sasori for Eternity
Summary: Itachi and Deidara had a plan. A plan that would rule the world. The ultimate plan. Crossdress and transfer schools!
1. Chapter 1

"Sensei, we would like to try something." Itachi said. The teacher looked down at Deidara and Itachi, who looked very serious. "What do you want?" "School transfer." The teacher cocked an eyebrow. Deidara nodded. "To test a theory we have." "Explain, boys." Itachi and Deidara blushed. "Well, we want to see what would happen if a boy passed off as a girl and tried to get a boyfriend." Itachi explained. "We are going to transfer schools crossdressing for a few months and see what would happen." Deidara continued. The teacher nodded. "It could work." He mumbled. He looked at the boys head-to-toe. 'They could easily pass off as girls.' He thought. 'They both have their hair grown out to their backs, Deidara always seems to be wearing eyeliner…What's with Itachi's eyelashes? They're long as hell…They're both really small for their age…' "Okay," The teacher started. "You can do it." "YAAAY!" They yelled. "But I expect a report when you get back." They nodded. "Deal."

* * *

A few months later

* * *

The new girls walked down the hall side-by-side. "Hopefully this works." The blonde one said. "If it doesn't this will be extremely awkward." Said the raven-head. Deidara was wearing a sleeveless hoodie and a jean skirt that went down to "her" knees. Itachi was wearing grey skinny jeans and a long-sleeve with a graphic tank top over it. Both had fake breasts. All of a sudden, a kid with his silver hair slicked back appeared in front of Deidara. "Hey cutie!" He said. "Kyaaa!" Deidara screamed as (s)he jumped back. "Ho-HOLY SHIT! You scared the hell out of me!" "Oh, sorry!" the guy said. "I guess I should have been more approachable. "It's fine." Itachi said. "May I ask your name?" "The fuuck? What the hell does that even mean?" "Your name! She wants to know your name!" "Well sorry I am not fond with old English, blondie!" "My name's Deidara, not blondie!" "Okay, sensitive, much?" Itachi rolled her eyes. "Let's not bother with the likes of this guy." She mumbled. Deidara nodded.

The bell then rang for school to start. "I have biology. What do you have?" Itachi asked. "Math. See you at lunch!" Deidara said, running down the hall. Deidara sat down next to a boy with orange hair and a few piercings in his ears. "Hi! My name is Deidara! What's your name?" The boy looked at (her) with a closer look, Deidara noticed his eyes were ringed. 'Okay, that's a bit strange.' She thought. "Pein. And you, new girl?" "My name is Deidara. Nice to meet you!" Deidara gave him a friendly smile. "Good to meet you too." He said, turning to face the teacher, who was starting class. Deidara gave him a friendly smile and turned to face the teacher as well.

'If I'm going to do this, I might as well enjoy myself.' Itachi thought, as she chose her seat. A kid with blue skin and spiked up indigo blue hair leaned over Itachi's desk. "Hi, my name is Kisame! And you?" "I'm Itachi…" she mumbled shyly, curling her hair on her finger. "You're really cute. Hey, are you free after school?" Itachi blushed. 'immediately, Deidara and I get noticed by a guy with silver hair. Thus, in class, I am asked out by a guy named Kisame and first notice.' Itachi thought for the paper. "Sure, wanna go get some ice cream or something?" "Yeah, that sounds great!" Kisame replied. 'Bingo.'

The class period passed by rather quickly. Pein and Deidara didn't talk after meeting, and Itachi had won herself a date. The bell rang for five-minute passing period. "Guess who has a daaate!" Itachi sung.

"Fuck you." Deidara grunted. "These boobs are killing me."  
"I haven't had a problem with them."  
"That's because your sister forced you to crossdress to introduce you to her friends."  
"Then she died!"  
Deidara stared at her best friend. "The things you say, I swear…" Itachi smiled, putting her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans. "I have to admit, I'm pretty damn amusing, though!" Deidara rolled her eyes. "That's what you say. But what about the rest of us?" Itachi shrugged.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer-I do not own Somebody told me by the killers, naruto, or sugar cones.

When Itachi and Deidara are NOT at school or with their date or other friends, They're referred to as 'he'

* * *

Deidara and Itachi went to Itachi's house after school. "I have to meet Kisame in half an hour! What should I wear?" Deidara sat down on Itachi's bed and shrugged. "Your mom." He said sarcastically. "I'm borrowing a pair of your sweatpants. I don't have to be girly for the rest of the day." Itachi looked up from his drawer. "You're naturally girly, Deidara." Deidara gave him a mean look. "Thanks, Itachi." He said through clenched teeth. "I really APPRECIATE it…" Itachi gave a menacing smile. "I think I'll just wear what I'm wearing." He said.

Kisame was waiting in front to the ice cream shack when Itachi got there. "Right on time!" Kisame greeted her. "Oh good! I thought I was late!" Itachi replied. "You're never going to be late. I will always wait for you." Itachi blushed. "Well, let's go in." Kisame said, holding the door open. The restaurant smelled really good. The aurora of mixed flavors was enough to make you drool. "What do you want?" Kisame asked. "My treat." "Uhm…" Itachi said, overwhelmed. "There's so many! I don't know what to chose!" There was like, 50 flavors. "I guess I'll have a chocolate waffle cone." What're you having, Kisame?" "Blueberry. I am totally having a blueberry sugar cone." 'Why am I not surprised?' Itachi thought.

"Oooh! Look, Itachi! They have karaoke here! Wanna do it with me?" "Nah, I'm not much of a singer. You do it, Kisame!" "Okay! Kisame said cheerfully."

Breaking my back just to know your name  
Seventeen tracks and I've had it with this game  
I'm breaking my back just to know your name  
But heaven ain't close in a place like this  
Anything goes but don't blink you might miss  
Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this  
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this  
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight  
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me  
You had a boyfriend  
Who looked like a girlfriend  
That I had in February of last year  
It's not confidential  
I've got potential

Ready? Let's roll onto something new  
Taking its toll and I'm leaving without you  
I'm ready, let's roll onto something new

'Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this  
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this  
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight  
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight

Well somebody told me  
You had a boyfriend  
Who looked like a girlfriend  
That I had in February of last year  
It's not confidential  
I've got potential  
A rushin', a rushin' around

Pace yourself for me  
I said maybe baby please  
But I just don't know now  
When all I wanna do is try

_[x3]_  
Somebody told me  
You had a boyfriend  
Who looked like a girlfriend  
That I had in February of last year  
It's not confidential  
I've got potential  
A rushin', a rushin' around

'Oh, the irony of this all…' Itachi thought. 'If only Kisame knew. He would laugh so hard.' "How'd I do?" Kisame asked. "You were very off-tune." Kisame started laughing. "You speak your mind a lot, huh?" Itachi nodded. "You're so cute!" "Uh…thanks!" Itachi blushed.

* * *

A few hours later

* * *

"Itachi, I had a lot of fun today." "So did I." "Ummmm…" Kisame stuttered. "Yes? What is it?" "Itachi, will you be my girlfriend?" Itachi looked Kisame right in the eye. "Yes." "R-really! You will!" "Yeah, Kisame I will!" Itachi stood on her toes and gave Kisame a kiss. "Thanks for everything!" Itachi said, and then he walked down the street. 'After meeting Kisame, he asked me out. We had an ice cream date and it went well. After the date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I accepted. Perfect.'


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning

* * *

"Dei, I told you a little bit about Kisame, my date, right?" Deidara nodded, adjusting the clip in her hair. "Yeah, and how did it go?" Itachi smiled. "He's my boyfriend now." Deidara stuck up her middle finger. "That's how I think of you right now." "You're just jealous!" Deidara grunted. "Damn straight!" "Don't worry. Someone who's not an asshole with silver hair will notice you eventually." Deidara looked hopeful. "Really?" Itachi nodded. "Yeah! You'll find someone!" Deidara rolled his eyes. "Now you sound like one of those Progressive radio commercials." "I have an iPod. So I wouldn't know." Itachi shrugged.

Deidara and Pein didn't talk to each other during biology. 'Second period is Language Arts. Hopefully I'll meet someone there.' Deidara was right. A new kid named Sasori was introduced to the class. "Deidara, will you pair up with Sasori for the class period, introduce him to what's going on, please?" The teacher asked. "Sure thing!" Sasori sat down next to Deidara. 'He has good eyes!' Deidara thought.

"Hi! I'm Deidara! Nice to meet you!" "You too, I guess." Sasori said, putting in his headphones. He then picked up a book out of his bookbag and started reading. His face almost immediately turned red. "What the hell are you reading…?" Deidara asked, looking over his shoulder. "porn…" Sasori whispered. "Please don't tell." Deidara had to resist the urge to read it with him. 'NO! That's not ladylike! Girls don't typically read that kind of stuff!' "You wanna look?" Sasori asked, handing her the book. "Uh, I guess…" Deidara said. "You're a pretty interesting girl. Most would have pushed it away and say 'EEEW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?'" Deidara giggled. "You're funny. I like you." "Thanks. You are pretty cool, yourself."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes. Eventually, Deidara couldn't take it anymore; he started reading over Sasori's shoulder. Sasori noticed and gave Deidara one of his earphones. 'Somehow this doesn't feel awkward…' Deidara thought to herself. "You like it? I'll lend it to you." "Huh? Really?" Sasori nodded. "Yeah. You seem pretty into it!" Deidara blushed. "I guess I can't say no!"


	4. Chapter 4

The bell rang for passing period. Itachi ran up to Deidara. "What is that book and where did you get it?" Itachi asked. "It's a porno. Sasori Akasuna lent it to me." "P-PORN? A-HAHAHAHAHA! T-THAT'S CLASSIC!" Deidara blushed. "Hey! He just gave it to me! Randomly!" "Hey, Deidara." Deidara blushed some more. "Speak of the devil. Is that him?" Itachi asked. Deidara nodded and turned around. "Hi Sasori! Thanks for (the book)…" "Hey, why's your face red?" "SHE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU!" Itachi blurted. "Itachi! Why!" Deidara whispered. "Cuz I can!" She gave her an evil grin. "You'll regret this…"

"Hn? Deidara wants to go out with me? Six at the movie theater?" Deidara turned back to the redhead. "What? You will!" "Why not? I have nothing else to do." W-wow! Okay!" Sasori walked away. "See ya tonight!" He called behind him. "See? You wanted to!" "So what if I did?" Itachi's cell phone started ringing. He answered it without looking who was calling. "What the hell do you want?" _O-oh! I'm sorry, Itachi! Are you mad at me…? I'm sorry…_ "Oh! It's just you, Kisame! Sorry! No, I though you were someone else! No, I'm not mad at you!" _Oh! Okay! Because I was thinking EEEP! Oh no! What did I do? Hahaha! That's a relief! You wanna go somewhere after school? _"Sure. I'd love to!" _Okay! I'll pick you up at five!_ Kisame then hung up. "I have another date tonight." "It appears that way."

"Hey, Kisame, what're you so happy about?" Kisame looked at Sasori, who was sitting down next to him. "I have a date tonight!" Hey! So do I!" They gave each other a high-five. "Damn!" Sasori suddenly said. "Huh? What's wrong?" Kisame asked. "I gave her my porn!" "Who's 'her' and WHY?" "Deidara. The girl I'm going out with and she was reading it." "A GIRL reading PORN?" Sasori blushed. "So?" Kisame laughed. "What a weird girl!" "She's not weird! She's just…different." Sasori had admiration in his eyes. "She's really nice. And what about you? Who are you dating?" Kisame blushed. "My god…she's so cute. Her name's Itachi. She's really nice. You would like her, Sasori!" "Oh! That raven head! I saw her earlier! Yeah, she's pretty cute!"


	5. Chapter 5

Deidara and to Itachi's house with him after school. "I'm so exited! And so PISSED!" Deidara said, glaring at Itachi, who was playing dumb. "Oh, please! Deidara, I could've admitted that we're guys back there!" "That doesn't mean you have the right to embarrass me in front of a cute guy I just met!" Deidara yelled, grabbing the collar of Itachi's sweater. "You're too much like a girl…" he mumbled under his breath. "That's what you say!" "You mean that's what she said?" Deidara's face reddened in anger. "I'M NOT TRYING TO SOUND DIRTY!" Itachi grinned. "dork."

Deidara threw on a pink miniskirt and a blue turtle-neck. The sleeves were a bit too long so the covered his hands. "I gotta go..." He mumbled. "So do I." Itachi said.

* * *

"What movie do you wanna see?" Sasori asked in front of the theater. 'She's gonna chose a chik-flik I just know it...' The redhead thought. 'I can just see it coming...' "OOOH!" Deidara grabbed Sasori's arm and started jumping. "Let's see that one!" She pointed at a sign with a martial artist on it. "You wanna see a Jackie Chan movie?" Sasori asked. "Fuck yea! Let's go!" Deidara knew it wasn't lady-like but she wanted to express herself. 'I coulda sworn...' Sasori sweatdropped.

* * *

"So, Kisa-kun, what're we gonna do this time?" Itachi asked her boyfriend. "What's with the 'Kisa-kun?' I didn't know I had a pet name..." Itachi shugged. "Thought it'd be fun!" Kisame smiled. "Then you're my Ita-chan!" Itachi grimanced. "That sounds weird." Ignoring Itachi's complaint, Kisame asked "How about we take a walk in the park?" Itachi smiled. "Sure that sounds great!"

* * *

Half an hour later

* * *

Itachi and Kisame walked through the park, hand-in-hand. "You doing anything spring break?" Itachi asked. Kisame shook his head. "Nope." "We could go to my summer home, with Deidara and Sasori." "That sounds like a great idea!" Itachi spaced out. "It's right there, on the beach. It's beautiful." Kisame smiled. "I wanna go. It'll fun! Just the four of us, right?" Itachi nodded. "That's how I'm planning it."

* * *

Sasori and Deidara sat in the movie theater, sharing a bag of popcorn. Sasori was all into the movie, but Deidara looked spacey. "_Something wrong, Dei?_" Sasori whispered. "_Nah, I'm just bored._" Saori giggled a little. "_You're the one who wanted to see this._" Deidara shrugged. "_It kinda sucks. Not enough Kung-fu action._" Sasori sweatdropped. 'What kind of girl is this...?'


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Deidara wasn't at school. "Hey, Kisame." Sasori said to the blue guy. "Your girlfriend is friends with MY girl, right?" "Yeah" Kisame replied. "Why?" "She's not here today. My poor little Dei-chan...what if she got hurt?" "Since when have you been so worried, Sasori? This ain't at all like you." Sasori thought for a second then shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe because she's my girlfriend...?" Kisame shook his head. "That's a dumb reason." "Anyways, ask Itachi to call Deidara. I'm a bit worried." Kisame sighed and texted Itachi. "Don't expect much. She doesn't text back very often." "Ummm...E-HEM!" A voice said behind Kisame. He turned around to see a raven-haired girl wearing a long t-shirt and skinny jeans standing behind him. "Oh! Hi, Itachi! How long have you been here!" "All of ten minutes." She said as she rolled her eyes and sat down. "I was seeing how long it would take you to notice."

"Anyways, shut up. I'm calling her." After a few minutes, Itachi hung up. "She has the flu and might need to go to the hospital." Itachi said, shocked. Everyone else was shocked too. "What! She might havve to go to the hospital?!" "This isn't rare, Sasori." Itachi said, suddenly noncholant. "She has a weak immune system. But she ALWAYS recovers." Sasori covered his mouth. "What...? She didn't tell me anything like that..." Itachi shrugged. "She'll be fine. Just the flu."


	7. Chapter 7

That day, Itachi went to Deidara's house. He was really pale and bed-ridden. "I'm fine enough to talk, Itachi. There's gotta be a reason you came." Itachi nodded. "Yup. It's about experiment crossdress for success." "oooh, this has gotta be interesting." Deidara said, sitting up. "Anyways, spit it out." Itachi sat down on the bed. "We're going to my summer home for spring break." Deidara shrugged. "Doesn't suprise me. Let me guess, our boyfriends are coming." "You got it." Itachi said. "Here's the catch. That's when we're going to tell them we're boys." Deidara nodded. "Not immedietly, a few days in, when we're all settled." "Got it."

* * *

It was a week before Deidara coming back to school was even a thought. But she did. But she looked like hell. She had lost about fifteen pounds and was extremly pale and fragile. Sasori wanted to hug her, but he was afraid that she would fall apart in his arms at the slightest touch. She hadn't even bothered to get dressed proper. Just wearing black sweatpants and and oversized plain white t-shirt. "Hey, Deidara. A-are you all right?" Sasori asked. Dei gave him a weak smile. "If I wasn't here, I wouldn't be." She murmered. "But you look like death..." "I'm FINE!" Deidara insisted. "Don't be a shithead." Kisame rolled his eyes and laughed. "See? She's still alive andk kicking." He said sarcastically.

"But-" Sasori started. "-whatever." He sighed. "I guess I am a little too worried." Deidara laughed. "Don't worry that's not the first time that's happened. I get sick all the time!" "But that's what worries me!" Itachi stood up. "MY SKIRT'S UNCOMFORTABLE!" She yelled, and then the bell rang. Deidara laughed, walking alongside her best friend. "What the hell was that!?" She said. "Distraction." Itachi simply said. "Distraction."


	8. Chapter 8

Deidara and Itachi shared social studies together. "Okay, students," The teacher said. "Thanks to extra funding, we can go on a camping trip as a school! Suprise!" The class cheered. "Hmmm this should be interesting..." Itachi whispered. "Now let me chose your bunk mate. Boys are mixed with girls, for your information." "Even better." Deidara whispered back.

"Ume, Hoshiko.  
Takako, Itachi.  
Arata, Hanako.  
Deidara, Hidan.  
Nobu, Shinobu.  
Nana, Masuyo.  
Katsuo, Shiori."

"This is the first time I realized how small our class is." Deidara mumbled. "Yeah." Itachi replied. "I Wanna me your bunkmate. Somehow, the name rings a bell." "Find your partners, class!" Everyone shuffled around the room. Deidara wasn't paying attention to where she was going and slammed into someone. "Oooow! Watch the fuck where you're going!" The person yelled. 'Oh, SHIT.' Deidara thought. "Um, excuse me, I'm looking for Hidan." She said, standing up. "You're looking at that sexy beast." The silver-haired guy said. "Goddammit, are you fucking kidding me?!" She yelled. "I'm stuck with THIS bastard?!"


End file.
